Ameliorator
Frustrated. Depressed. Angry. I must face the juggernaut of my deepest fear--being unheard. With an abundant flow of ideas, I am left drowning. Is there a purpose in voicing our opinions if no one listens? Or shall we continue speaking, hopeful someone shall eventually take notice? My inner ameliorator causes a ceaseless struggle in my life. Though my upmost desire remains to influence the world, the power needed has evaded my grasp. How does one seek to create change without any influence? Shall I continue fighting or is my laboring done in vain?
Logically, I should surrender. However, I cannot idly watch life go by. Though I may not influence a single soul, by continuing my efforts, I find peace with myself.
I rarely have to look up the definition of a word but your use of Ameliorate forced me to. These are bleak times and self improvement is in decay. Everything is external...improved tech, energy, science, medicine. Inner shortcomings are totally ignored though they are the source of so many problems. It's the hubris of superficial innovation, people living longer with less happiness...like a prison sentence. I'm re-reading "Round the Bend" by Nevil Shute. It's worth finding as it touches on all these topics.
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